RTU ( Radiotherapy Unit)

RTU (Radiotherapy Unit), the name itself brought fear to many people. It is 1 of the nightmarish place in hospital. Why? Because you were there either because you have cancer or your family have it. I, despite being cancer free for 1 year, still fear this place. It brought in a lot of memories, the bitter, the fear, & the hope. But wverytime i come back for my chwckup, i always feels nervous. What if my cancer relapse, what if i have to come back again? I really hate the feels. We cant help but ask why do this even happen. Cancer kills, & yes, idk where did i go wrong. Many people eat more harmful substance but still can live normally.. why cant i? I really hate it. Coming back for check up, i have fear that the doctor will have to tell me the ugly truth. That kind of fear, if i have to face it. How am i going to tell my family about it? How can i going through that same shit over again? How can i missed out my timing & missed out the chance to chase my ambition? My life were just about to start over again. Dear God, help me. I also hate to see the face of new patients & their family.. it's not hate, but more on sorry. Why do they have to suffer? Why so many people have to go through this? Old people, young people & especially children? Why do cancer choose us? I hope everyone can get well. Even so, i hope they can go through all of these process with courage, hope & love.